Katherine Sorbey
December 13, 2010
Listuguj

"We didn't count as a people, as human beings."

Katherine Sorbey, Mi'qmaq

It was shocking and it was also a shock… When the Canadian government unilaterally imposed residential schools on the First Peoples, they saw it an act of inconceivable domination, a form of human and cultural trauma that led to the destruction of the family unit and deep despair. The moral values of respect, sharing and caring for others, naturally transmitted through language and experience, could no longer be passed on. Parents were cut off from their children and were deprived of their ability to teach, only to be replaced by foreigners who did not share their culture. While the foundations of nations were under attack, spirits fled. "We could have never understood," agrees Katherine Sorbey. “I couldn't, and still today, I can’t."

Ms. Katy Sorbey is seated facing a window with white lace curtains. Near her is a green wall decorated in framed photographs.

Well, a lot has changed you know, the relations have changed among our… I think mostly due to, uh, the cultural change has taken place, because of the loss of language. Within, within the language, the Mi’gmaq language, or most Aboriginal languages, the moral values of a people are built into the language, like the respect, you know, the honour, and, uh, there’s really, uh… I don’t think there has ever been a hierarchal type of setting with our people like, like they have today, you know. We were raised, even in my, in my day you know, we were raised to, to be, what little I can remember of my childhood, a lot of people were equal, equal, you know. The the need, the sharing and the caring and... Like the Mi’gmaq nation was like a family. It was so closely knitted, in such a way that one example I can give you probably over again is that, uh, because of the, uh, total respect for our elders, and their, uh, respect for the life that they have lived, you know? That they learned a lot more than we did. We never got to their stage yet. And we were being primed for us to be good people when we got older, so it was primed in you from when you’re a child, you know? And through the language, and it was, uh, it was not a difficult thing, we didn’t think it, we never ever saw this as a lesson you know, we just lived it, you know. We just lived it, and, and the examples that were set to us by our fore fathers, grandmothers and whatever, they made so much sense to living on a daily basis that you didn’t need books, you know? So it was, uh… So I think over the years, the loss of the language played a big, big part in the root nation, of Aboriginal people nation, nations. The family unit was gone, the teachings of the grandfathers and the grandmothers, and the mothers, and the fathers, the uncles and aunts, it was taken away. It was taken away from the, uh the parents. And I totally believe being as a mother today, it must have been an awful devastation for these parents, you know, to get their children taken away from them, you know, and lose the ability of teaching, lose the ability of the spirit, the spirit was gone. They were cleaned out spiritually. You know? No chance at all to, uh, to practice the way they were brought up for their children and all because of the government’s regulations for the Native people. And nobody, nobody seems to understand the devastation it created. And I totally believe that for, oh my God, for over 50 - 70 years, the Aboriginal nations I believe had lived in a despair darkness, a darkness of culture. You know? It took away so much from, the build in, build in of a nation which wasn’t wanted by the Canadian government anyway. They just wanted us to disappear, you know, disappear and not, uh, like we didn’t matter as a people, as human beings, and we didn’t matter, you know. And it’s all, uh, we could never understand it, I couldn’t as I am a person… Even today, I still don’t understand it.

Irene Otter
June 17, 2011
Waswanipi

"You can't see your trauma."

Irene Otter, Eeyou

Residential schools and uprooting have left behind scars. The wounds are so deep that sometimes we forget what caused them. Inside, the pain is still sharp and wounds are skin-deep. Drugs and alcohol are used to numb the pain. In the long run, this consumes those who choose this path until they can finally find themselves again. The healing work is long and requires courage; you have to open up old wounds to discover what lies within. Support is essential. The heart needs kindness to heal.

Interview with Irene Otter. A picture of her accompanies the sound of her voice.

Irene Otter

It’s a long process to, to find your healing, especially if you don’t want to look at what started the pain. And for some I guess it was too traumatic for them to even open up, open up that little wound and see what’s, what’s there. So for them it’s like there’s still anger and all these negative things in their life. Some are starting to open up, some, this like, some of them it took 30 years to, 30-40 years to even admit this happened to them in their lives. And once… One time I said, I said sometimes they forgot what started this pain, so after years and years of just pushing it down, then you don’t know what’s over here.

They drink, they take drugs, you know, develop other, develop other addictions to hide that pain, after a while they forgot what it was, so how can someone, not forgot, but they pushed it down so far in, that it’s hard for them to find out what it was. So it’s hard to bring it up and say well, this is what happened in their life. So it’s quite a long process to get them to start talking.

So you have to be patient and wait for them to say, "OK, I’ve had enough of this, I would like to find myself again." Like I was telling you yesterday, I had to go and find myself, I thought I was lost but I wasn’t, I was still, it was just hidden inside but this is what I’m trying to tell people, it’s inside of you whatever it is, the pain. You just open up slowly, you don’t have, healing doesn’t take like one day, like you cut yourself of course it’s not going to heal right away, it’s going to take a while, the same thing with whatever, whatever hurt you before. But at least physically you can see what’s there, but pain, someone hurts you, you know, your feelings, your emotions, your physical, that, the traumatic… the trauma?

Interviewer

Yeah, trauma.

Irene Otter

Yeah, trauma.